sat afternoon: lup

That's too bad, didn't get to see that shuai resident.. PTO said he came down and voted already. Anyway, another fufilling day at LUP morning shift. Even it was sweltering hot in the afternoon but still managed to get 9 proxy and secured the 75%. Yeah! Clap clap. Hard work was worthwhile and at the same time can burned off some calories while climbing all those flight of stairs! Haha.

a shuai resident

A sense of fulfillment at LUP duty tonight. Those phone calls made are worthwhile and it pays being a runner. Haha cos saw a resident, so shuai. Almost lose control of myself, too bad he's married. He said will come down to vote on Saturday instead of signing proxy. However, I won't mind to get a glimpse of him again. Heh.. Gotta sleep soon and chiong morning duty tomorrow. Hope that resident come down tomorrow when I'm around.. Zzzzz

movie: date night

The movie portray the humor side of married life. People may have commitments and tend to lose hope and confident in themselves over time. But if we could learn and try new and alternative ways, it could really turn out very different & unexpectedly. What a couple to start with. =)

why give a damn

I'm really pissed off. It's like they are expecting you to do everything and taking advantage of your presence and your existence. Can't I come home from work without facing any more frustration and anger? What is wrong with these people that are so close to me but yet so distance. I've left all the hopes long time ago so I don't give a damn to who are you or show any respect even it was necessary. Because I felt that it is pointless. I can't see or find anything that I should treat you the way I should as you keep doing stuff that make me despise you even more. My life is already ruined and I'm trying my best to pick it up so I don't understand why do I have to go through the bloody shit which in the first place is not created by me. Life will be fair and I am going to make my life fair. I don't want to be stuck in this mess and I won't let it hurt me ever again. Sucking up to me or pleasing me won't work on me so just fuck off far away from me.

t:)day

So it can be resolved afterall. Lunch, work together, dinner & bus ride back home. =) All becomes an understanding. Human minds are indeed complex.

a little & also patience

I did something using only little of my courage today. Yup, I texted F. My gut feeling was hesitant and chance of replying is like 50%.. Anyway I already sent if no reply, I'll just take it that I've made an effort trying. Of course I wish there's an reply cos it will mean that there's something that can be done. And it turns out, I receive it. =) Maybe time will heal..

Find & fight for my friend back

Over the years, I learnt that friends are really important to me. Maybe some things happened or there's misunderstanding, and the friendship is just affected. I don't wish to lose a friend just because of this. We used to do things together but just maybe because of that incident then everything seems to change. I don't know if F is angry over that issue or just too stressed over work but I kinda sense that it's regarding that issue. It must be something as F is like giving a cold shoulder because that is not his usual self. The incident may have been the trigger and the additional load of work being thrown back to F. Maybe my action really spite F.. I don't know how exactly to approach the situation because I 'm afraid that it will just worsen. If the first step I take is wrong, then it is that's it. Human heart is just so fragile. But I hope we can be friends again back like we used to, cos I don't want to lose a friend that is important to me. I will fight for it, at least I know that I tried cos it's worthwhile. Afterall, it's really hard to find a good friend for life. I mean take a good look at the society and within our work life, you can have colleagues but hard to make good friends out of it. Colleagues can turned upon you without taking much of your considerations of your feelings but friends will never do that to each other cos we care for one another. Life sucks and hurts alot at times. If I lose it, I will fight it back.