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This post is going to suck.
Bad evening ever since yesterday. I quarrelled with my dad again. Probably this will be the last time we'll ever be in talking terms. Well, to say the history, it'll be long. All this is accumulated over time. I told him it's like fated that I'd revenge on him of what he did in the past. I didn't literally say I revenge on him, but it's fated. I didn't decide to but it's like I'm being forced under the circumstances. Since I was brought up in a broken family, which won't really have any good or positive things could happened, my character has been molted. What I couldn't enjoy & achieve during the past, I will strive for my own now. So if he suffer, he feels disappointed, heart-broken, he gets his medicine back. Have he not understand that this is how exactly me & my brother felt all these years? When he say not to mention about the past, but why? Since the present problem is the same as the past. I held on to the past because I am not satisfied on the current situation. I keep thinking why does this have to happen & why on me? My mind is just so shut out and my heart is always heavy. I know I am very demanding and insisted that things to go according to my way but can't I have that priviledge? Sometimes, I wish I was an orphan yearning for parents' love but at least I don't have to go through the pain & loss. This is worse than anything else.