crabby dinner

First of all, Happy Fathers' Day!

Now the main dissatisfaction. As it was a Fathers' Day, we decided to dine out and have a good meal - CRABS. The non air-conditioned restaurant is located at Yio Chu Kang Road, probably rented the space from landed property. We ordered Sambal Kang Kong, Hotplate Venison & Black Pepper Crab (two 1kg crabs). The vegetables & meat came so we ate while waiting for the crab. However it was never served even we finished the 2 dishes. Nevertheless, we waited patiently as the crowd was understandable. Finally the waitress placed the piping hot crabs & we started digging. This is the point where we found out that the crabmeat at the pincer somewhat shrink in size. It's like overcharging us. Hence, we informed the manager about our distress and unfairness. In the end, the bill charged us $100. But I still think its expensive & not worthwhile. You should have seen the other tables faces, so black just waiting for their crabs to be serve. Afterall, the restaurant decision not to include GST & service charge was a right move. Because if there is, they are really money suckers.

Show some light please

Ya, another late night sleep. Every night was and is. I couldn't sleep well too and been dreaming about weird incidents. With all the stress and obstacles surfacing out, I just cannot manage. A phrase to describe; My life is so sucky now. I say that I am just not cut out to be what I am or what I am for. In terms of work, I'm a loser. In family, I'm a failure. Even in my own world, I am a useless, lazy & good-for-nothing person. How can I have accomplishment in the rate that I'm going?. I need breakthrough, I need revival please! I always think that I know myself well, rather to let people understand me. I feel I am trying but thy think I am over-protective. Who wouldn't be protective of themselves? I just want to shield my emotions from getting hurt in anyways. What you see physically can sometimes be too overwhelming by the truth. What is truth? What is real? - the fact is, it is always awfully, not really what you wish and want to know or hear. It gives you disappointments, shock, bewilderment. So should I believe you & seek or act ignorant? For goodness sake, it's for myself or for the better of others, that is what I am figuring out. What do I want for life? I guess I am used to running in a vicious cycle without habouring any intentions to leave once & for all.

Sex And The City 2

Sex and the City 2 is worth watching!

tech stuffs

I feel so blessed with HTC HD2, Nokia E71 & iPod Touch.

heart-felt msg

I've changed.

I may have done something that is so wrong that I didn't realised it.

I've committed sins.

I've let myself down, in fact everybody.

I failed to be what I am for.

I don't have any goals no aims in my life.

I lost track of myself.

I hate myself at times.

I feel sad and stupid for myself.

I've forsaken hope.

I'm tired.

I'm helpless and alone.

Why do tough roads never ends? I thought I can choose my own path. I'd choose the easy way out. Unless God has already planned the road for me. Why did I only come to an understanding now? But why do I have to go through all these? I have a lots of doubts and I really wish God you can tell me. I've tried and gave up. I don't want to think for the future cos I don't wish to see the pain and disappointment coming. God if you love me, love me forever. Because at least I know there's someone in the world that loves and cares for me even if the whole world doesn't.

Tuesday nights

Hours seems to pass like seconds during Tuesday nights. Multi-tasking around internet browsing, FB-ing, SMS, catching CSI on TV, fiddling with itunes.. I just wish I got more time, or maybe don't have to work too. Believe it a not, I actually asked my bro to help me get the dota game thumbdrive. Wanna give a shot to decide whether is it really my kind. By the way, it's real windy at my house right now. My bedroom door has slammed twice & scared us out of our wits twice. Luckily, my soul didn't leave me. Great night to sleep. ZZZzzzz.

sat afternoon: lup

That's too bad, didn't get to see that shuai resident.. PTO said he came down and voted already. Anyway, another fufilling day at LUP morning shift. Even it was sweltering hot in the afternoon but still managed to get 9 proxy and secured the 75%. Yeah! Clap clap. Hard work was worthwhile and at the same time can burned off some calories while climbing all those flight of stairs! Haha.

a shuai resident

A sense of fulfillment at LUP duty tonight. Those phone calls made are worthwhile and it pays being a runner. Haha cos saw a resident, so shuai. Almost lose control of myself, too bad he's married. He said will come down to vote on Saturday instead of signing proxy. However, I won't mind to get a glimpse of him again. Heh.. Gotta sleep soon and chiong morning duty tomorrow. Hope that resident come down tomorrow when I'm around.. Zzzzz

movie: date night

The movie portray the humor side of married life. People may have commitments and tend to lose hope and confident in themselves over time. But if we could learn and try new and alternative ways, it could really turn out very different & unexpectedly. What a couple to start with. =)

why give a damn

I'm really pissed off. It's like they are expecting you to do everything and taking advantage of your presence and your existence. Can't I come home from work without facing any more frustration and anger? What is wrong with these people that are so close to me but yet so distance. I've left all the hopes long time ago so I don't give a damn to who are you or show any respect even it was necessary. Because I felt that it is pointless. I can't see or find anything that I should treat you the way I should as you keep doing stuff that make me despise you even more. My life is already ruined and I'm trying my best to pick it up so I don't understand why do I have to go through the bloody shit which in the first place is not created by me. Life will be fair and I am going to make my life fair. I don't want to be stuck in this mess and I won't let it hurt me ever again. Sucking up to me or pleasing me won't work on me so just fuck off far away from me.

t:)day

So it can be resolved afterall. Lunch, work together, dinner & bus ride back home. =) All becomes an understanding. Human minds are indeed complex.

a little & also patience

I did something using only little of my courage today. Yup, I texted F. My gut feeling was hesitant and chance of replying is like 50%.. Anyway I already sent if no reply, I'll just take it that I've made an effort trying. Of course I wish there's an reply cos it will mean that there's something that can be done. And it turns out, I receive it. =) Maybe time will heal..

Find & fight for my friend back

Over the years, I learnt that friends are really important to me. Maybe some things happened or there's misunderstanding, and the friendship is just affected. I don't wish to lose a friend just because of this. We used to do things together but just maybe because of that incident then everything seems to change. I don't know if F is angry over that issue or just too stressed over work but I kinda sense that it's regarding that issue. It must be something as F is like giving a cold shoulder because that is not his usual self. The incident may have been the trigger and the additional load of work being thrown back to F. Maybe my action really spite F.. I don't know how exactly to approach the situation because I 'm afraid that it will just worsen. If the first step I take is wrong, then it is that's it. Human heart is just so fragile. But I hope we can be friends again back like we used to, cos I don't want to lose a friend that is important to me. I will fight for it, at least I know that I tried cos it's worthwhile. Afterall, it's really hard to find a good friend for life. I mean take a good look at the society and within our work life, you can have colleagues but hard to make good friends out of it. Colleagues can turned upon you without taking much of your considerations of your feelings but friends will never do that to each other cos we care for one another. Life sucks and hurts alot at times. If I lose it, I will fight it back.

indo-i-come

20/03/2010

Another Saturday but a Holiday

Batam Trip

Not much buys in return

Not as enjoyable

But still, love ya guys.

awaits for our holiday plans after our confirmation

Aahhhhhh

Finally there's gonna be some updates to my archive. Still as happening as before, didn't slept well last night because I got a very bad nightmare. I can't remember clearly but felt like being forced to my deathbed. Maybe I'm having a bad time but what am I supposed to say, everybody are also having their own bad time. It's pitiful but yet it's so hard to feel pitiful. Screammm..