ACC203 Topic Forum 1 Locked

Urgh!! I'm so wasted!! I've got myself to blame if I were to have F-grade(high possibility). My negligence and stupidity had overcomed my being. Why didn't I submit the 2 postings?? I'm gonna do the Qn2!

Something to tell Shepherd

Where shall I start? I'm like a lost sheep ever since I left my Shepherd. Everything has not been going well even my heart & soul is like another being on its own. I lost my sense of direction & the pillar of my support. In the past, I used to questioned God on the things that are happening to me & I'll always feel better when I know that God share my saddness & loneliness. A few months have passed, following by a year or two. I've moved & I've grown. Without God. My life has no purpose and it is always lacking in something. I think back about the past though things may have change but my heart no longer has You. Dear God, do you think I am a selfish person? For denying the love you had for me that I choose to give up? My biological father may love me as his daughter but you are different. You gave more than what I really felt. My faith for you may not be strong but whenever I feel sad or empty, I imagine that You are there for me to share what I feel right at the moment. Which is something nobody can fulfill or take Your place. Dear God, right now I want to be enlighten by You. I just want to feel your love.

Work may have been tough, studies has just kicked off & physical disability may have hinder me, but end of the day it's just me. Myself. I love solitary but it dosen't conceal the love & care I hope to get. Please, I juat want to feel your love tonight.

blues

Is it monday blues, mood swing or am I feeling negative today?
While at work, I just got the urge to quit. And hoping for the time to pass quickly.
When it's time to go back, I don't look forward to go home but nowhere to go.
It's a pain and torturous.
When I'm home, I wish I could be happy but I'm not.
What kind of life am I going through right now?

......

This post is going to suck.
Bad evening ever since yesterday. I quarrelled with my dad again. Probably this will be the last time we'll ever be in talking terms. Well, to say the history, it'll be long. All this is accumulated over time. I told him it's like fated that I'd revenge on him of what he did in the past. I didn't literally say I revenge on him, but it's fated. I didn't decide to but it's like I'm being forced under the circumstances. Since I was brought up in a broken family, which won't really have any good or positive things could happened, my character has been molted. What I couldn't enjoy & achieve during the past, I will strive for my own now. So if he suffer, he feels disappointed, heart-broken, he gets his medicine back. Have he not understand that this is how exactly me & my brother felt all these years? When he say not to mention about the past, but why? Since the present problem is the same as the past. I held on to the past because I am not satisfied on the current situation. I keep thinking why does this have to happen & why on me? My mind is just so shut out and my heart is always heavy. I know I am very demanding and insisted that things to go according to my way but can't I have that priviledge? Sometimes, I wish I was an orphan yearning for parents' love but at least I don't have to go through the pain & loss. This is worse than anything else.

Meet-up cum mini celebration

Weijie's Birthday Celebration
Meeting Venue: Bugis
Time: 630PM
I reached almost 7PM supported by a good reason. I went to buy the birthday boy's present.
We walked to Liang Seah Street for steamboat.
In the end, we decided Suntec.
Either Kuishinbo or steamboat.
Finally we settled for chinese-style buffet @ Pearl River (somewhere in between conventional halls)
We order alot. Really alot.
Buddha Jump over the Wall
Soft shell crab
Steamed Sea Bass
Lettuce, Long Beans & Baby Kailan
Cereal Prawns
Roasted Pork
Cripsy Duck Skin
Some other dishes I can't remember..
Cos the waitress serves & clean the plates faster than the rate we're eating.
Ya, the feeling is like either they are rushing to end work early or chasing us out.
Photo-taking cum uploading into Facebook
Dessert Time
Very full until we keep pushing the food to each other.
Next Destination: Esplanade
Just plain slacking & photo-taking
Abit of World Cup Fever with the rest
Just nice Brazil vs Holland playing
After awhile,
We parted & Home.

Nice hangout. Enjoyable Friday.

crabby dinner

First of all, Happy Fathers' Day!

Now the main dissatisfaction. As it was a Fathers' Day, we decided to dine out and have a good meal - CRABS. The non air-conditioned restaurant is located at Yio Chu Kang Road, probably rented the space from landed property. We ordered Sambal Kang Kong, Hotplate Venison & Black Pepper Crab (two 1kg crabs). The vegetables & meat came so we ate while waiting for the crab. However it was never served even we finished the 2 dishes. Nevertheless, we waited patiently as the crowd was understandable. Finally the waitress placed the piping hot crabs & we started digging. This is the point where we found out that the crabmeat at the pincer somewhat shrink in size. It's like overcharging us. Hence, we informed the manager about our distress and unfairness. In the end, the bill charged us $100. But I still think its expensive & not worthwhile. You should have seen the other tables faces, so black just waiting for their crabs to be serve. Afterall, the restaurant decision not to include GST & service charge was a right move. Because if there is, they are really money suckers.

Show some light please

Ya, another late night sleep. Every night was and is. I couldn't sleep well too and been dreaming about weird incidents. With all the stress and obstacles surfacing out, I just cannot manage. A phrase to describe; My life is so sucky now. I say that I am just not cut out to be what I am or what I am for. In terms of work, I'm a loser. In family, I'm a failure. Even in my own world, I am a useless, lazy & good-for-nothing person. How can I have accomplishment in the rate that I'm going?. I need breakthrough, I need revival please! I always think that I know myself well, rather to let people understand me. I feel I am trying but thy think I am over-protective. Who wouldn't be protective of themselves? I just want to shield my emotions from getting hurt in anyways. What you see physically can sometimes be too overwhelming by the truth. What is truth? What is real? - the fact is, it is always awfully, not really what you wish and want to know or hear. It gives you disappointments, shock, bewilderment. So should I believe you & seek or act ignorant? For goodness sake, it's for myself or for the better of others, that is what I am figuring out. What do I want for life? I guess I am used to running in a vicious cycle without habouring any intentions to leave once & for all.

Sex And The City 2

Sex and the City 2 is worth watching!

tech stuffs

I feel so blessed with HTC HD2, Nokia E71 & iPod Touch.

heart-felt msg

I've changed.

I may have done something that is so wrong that I didn't realised it.

I've committed sins.

I've let myself down, in fact everybody.

I failed to be what I am for.

I don't have any goals no aims in my life.

I lost track of myself.

I hate myself at times.

I feel sad and stupid for myself.

I've forsaken hope.

I'm tired.

I'm helpless and alone.

Why do tough roads never ends? I thought I can choose my own path. I'd choose the easy way out. Unless God has already planned the road for me. Why did I only come to an understanding now? But why do I have to go through all these? I have a lots of doubts and I really wish God you can tell me. I've tried and gave up. I don't want to think for the future cos I don't wish to see the pain and disappointment coming. God if you love me, love me forever. Because at least I know there's someone in the world that loves and cares for me even if the whole world doesn't.

Tuesday nights

Hours seems to pass like seconds during Tuesday nights. Multi-tasking around internet browsing, FB-ing, SMS, catching CSI on TV, fiddling with itunes.. I just wish I got more time, or maybe don't have to work too. Believe it a not, I actually asked my bro to help me get the dota game thumbdrive. Wanna give a shot to decide whether is it really my kind. By the way, it's real windy at my house right now. My bedroom door has slammed twice & scared us out of our wits twice. Luckily, my soul didn't leave me. Great night to sleep. ZZZzzzz.

sat afternoon: lup

That's too bad, didn't get to see that shuai resident.. PTO said he came down and voted already. Anyway, another fufilling day at LUP morning shift. Even it was sweltering hot in the afternoon but still managed to get 9 proxy and secured the 75%. Yeah! Clap clap. Hard work was worthwhile and at the same time can burned off some calories while climbing all those flight of stairs! Haha.

a shuai resident

A sense of fulfillment at LUP duty tonight. Those phone calls made are worthwhile and it pays being a runner. Haha cos saw a resident, so shuai. Almost lose control of myself, too bad he's married. He said will come down to vote on Saturday instead of signing proxy. However, I won't mind to get a glimpse of him again. Heh.. Gotta sleep soon and chiong morning duty tomorrow. Hope that resident come down tomorrow when I'm around.. Zzzzz

movie: date night

The movie portray the humor side of married life. People may have commitments and tend to lose hope and confident in themselves over time. But if we could learn and try new and alternative ways, it could really turn out very different & unexpectedly. What a couple to start with. =)

why give a damn

I'm really pissed off. It's like they are expecting you to do everything and taking advantage of your presence and your existence. Can't I come home from work without facing any more frustration and anger? What is wrong with these people that are so close to me but yet so distance. I've left all the hopes long time ago so I don't give a damn to who are you or show any respect even it was necessary. Because I felt that it is pointless. I can't see or find anything that I should treat you the way I should as you keep doing stuff that make me despise you even more. My life is already ruined and I'm trying my best to pick it up so I don't understand why do I have to go through the bloody shit which in the first place is not created by me. Life will be fair and I am going to make my life fair. I don't want to be stuck in this mess and I won't let it hurt me ever again. Sucking up to me or pleasing me won't work on me so just fuck off far away from me.